Let me tell you how my 2017 was but honestly, I barely remember what happened.
January. I remember hating my job, my schedule, and the people around me. I remember going to work before the sun rises and heading home after all the establishments closed. I remember not being able to eat and sleep properly. I remember not seeing my housemate, who is my friend, for a week and the only interactions we had were the short conversations when we see each other. I remember feeling so tired and fed up. I remember wanting to quit.
And I did. I submitted my resignation letter and was asked to stay for a month to train the newbies. On my off days, I remember going to a theme park with my workmates and thinking that I'm going to miss them. I remember being thankful that I've met them but the friendship wasn't enough for me to make me stay. I also remember going to new different places every weekend just so I could cross out an item on my list. I remember wanting to do everything because it felt like time is running out.
February. On the day of hearts, I finally left my job. I cried on that day, not because I was sad for leaving the people I worked with but because I don't like goodbyes. I trained new employees before I left. I remember being close with one of them. I remember laughing with her and all but now, we don't even check on each other anymore. There are people who are just meant to be that but I wish it didn't turn out that way.
March. I flew to Malaysia, my first international trip. It was fun but I could've explored more and did things I really wanted to do. I will be back for sure. I also visited Malacca City during the 4-day trip and it became my 2nd favorite city.
April. May. June. July. I took a break, went back home, became batugan, learned how to paint a bit. It was also the months of decision making and finally taking the path I was always afraid to take.
August. September. October. November. December. I was back in school so I can only remember a few. I remember working on our school mascot until 12 mn and going to school early the next day. I remember spending late nights and weekends working on our lanterns for the university's annual lantern parade and preparing for the Anatomy exhibit at the same time. I remember balancing school and extraco activities. I remember studying. I remember procrastinating, sleeping 8 hours even though I have quizzes/exams the next day and cramming. I also remember crying on the eve of the worst quiz day of the semester (4 quizzes, 1 pracs) because I have to do good in all of it and I got anxious. My self-esteem was also really low and I was so tired of everything (physically and mentally).
But in those 5 months, I gained new friends and learned new things.
In those 5 months, little did I know, I gained more courage.
After those 5 months, I was able to survive.
2018 will be a year of healing, of commitment, and of growing.
